Sunday, 16 October 2011

Am I really finished?

I have only ever wanted to have two children. Preferably of the same sex. I have all of that now. I found pregnancy really hard both times and was so glad to have it over and done with after Wombat. Yet now that Wombat is nearly a year old (less than two weeks to go!), I find myself wanting another baby.

I had a chat with Thunder Maker about it the other day and he got rather excited. He has never made any secret of the fact that he would love to have three children, but he was happy enough to stop because that was what I wanted.

I think part of my desire to have another baby stems from the fact that Wombat is now at the age that Seagull was when we first decided that we would start trying for another baby sooner rather than later. We ended up waiting another couple of months so that I wouldn't be pregnant at my sister-in-law's wedding. I suppose it just feels natural to me to be considering having another baby at this point in time.

I know that now is really not a good time to seriously be considering adding to my family. We are moving in about 8 weeks time, I am doing three subjects over summer term so that I can continue to study part time and still finish second year in one year. For that matter, I have to finish uni, full stop. Then there is the practical consideration of not having a car that is capable of holding three car seats and not being able to afford to buy one that does. I drive a hatchback and Thunder Maker drives a dual cab ute.

Even if all of that wasn't an issue, Wombat still breastfeeds at night and I have lactation induced amenorrhoea. That means I don't ovulate. I'll just back quietly away now before you all have a chance to sharpen your pitchforks and aim them in my direction. Anyway, even if I was really keen to have another baby right now, I can't.

To be honest, with all of my long term plans, I'm not really sure where I would find time to fit having another baby into the scheme. That's probably not the best way of expressing it, but the way I see it, I already have two beautiful healthy children. I will hopefully finish uni by the end of 2013, then I want to start putting my degree to good use, so I will need to be working for at least a year to qualify for maternity leave.

I wonder if leaving it that long would be a good idea, given that Seagull and Wombat would be 6 and 4 respectively before we even started trying again. Also, Thunder Maker is 12 years older than me which would make him 43. I wonder if that is asking too much of him.

Anyway, Thunder Maker and I came to the conclusion that we are open to the idea of having another baby, but we are not going to actively consider or pursue it at any point in the foreseeable future.


Rachel said...

I guess if it is meant to be then it will happen... that's my philosophy anyway. babies come into our lives when they are meant to and we deal with it the best we can!

Sidetracked said...

That's what I figure as well. I've heard of two women recently, both of whom had their tubes tied and both fell pregnant again. If it's meant to be, it will happen somehow. I have no idea of when I would have time to have another baby with everything I have on my plate at the moment, but I'm not going to be upset if I somehow end up pregnant despite my best attempts at contraception.